First, if you are not a medically qualified psychiatrist or do not have a degree in psychology, mental health counseling, psychological disorders or the similar with certifications proving you understand what you learned, you do not know what you're talking about. The mass majority of qualified folks will say they can't diagnose someone without a session and/or testing.
Second, it's become a method of bullying others. It took me years to realize this, but how I finally did was a guy I worked for kept needling another employee and had me helping him with his work. He regularly told me and others the guy was "definitely on spectrum". Eventually I realized the guy didn't have anything nice to say about anyone as he needled another behind his back with similar nonsense and then called another "antisocial" and another "lazy". The lazy was the one that gave it away for me. (Yes, I was fooled initially just like anyone else.) The guy he was calling lazy did appear to have a laissez-faire attitude most of the time, but it wasn't that he was lazy. After talking with him at length one day, I realized it was his coping mechanism. He took a disconnected approach under pressure. The "boss" in this case was literally creating problems for his own workers by undercutting the view other people had of them.
The "lazy" approach to stress isn't unique, and from years of observations isn't lazy. Some people have developed a way to cope through disconnection. I've always kind of admired it. I'm never disconnected completely from anything. I'm the exact opposite. I'm an overachiever which means under pressure we can become "high strung". Lazy or laissez-faire isn't in our vocabularies, but we can learn it.
Every overachiever I've ever met is "high strung". Overachievers can often be pushed into taking on too much, especially when younger and unaware of those that might turn it into a negative for them. Overachievers often find themselves being accused of being ADHD. This misdiagnosis by people who don't know what they are talking about is simply a method of insulting and degrading someone.
Of course, I'm speaking from firsthand experience. Accused of being ADHD by more than one person, usually stemming from the same motivation as the above examples, I asked to be tested. It came back at 25-30%, which meant I was not ADHD, "hyper" perhaps, but not ADHD. Nothing has changed that. It's a brain thing. I had been diagnosed as "hyper" when I was a very little kid, but then? It just meant that I learned faster, devoured more books in far less time than average, seemed to have an endless fountain of energy and was most likely going to be an "overachiever", striving to do the best work I could. Most parents back then took this to mean they would run their child ragged. Okay maybe it was just my parents, as they were always making me read, learn, and had a non-stop development plan. I realize this was way outside the norm, but it was how they decided to deal with an overachiever child.
Everyone you meet that doesn't act how YOU expect or want them to is NOT "on spectrum", and again, most of you have no business saying that about anyone.
For those that have been "accused", behind your back or even to your face, by some idiot with zero credentials, do NOT take it to heart. Think of them as dumbasses you cannot trust. Even if you're actually "on spectrum", remember it's none of their business and no one that genuinely cares about you would try and pretend they have the credentials to "diagnose" you or anyone else.
As for me, and my fellow overachievers, go take the tests to reassure yourself when confronted by this kind of asshole. If you happen to be ADHD on an online test, then consider getting tested by a psychiatrist. (Side note: A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who can run tests and prescribe medication if needed. Psychologists and counselors cannot.) Consider counseling to help you learn to cope with the fact your brain works differently and often "faster" than others.
On the bright side, I credit my youthful look and relentless desire to understand and improve the world around me as a wonderful side effect of being an overachiever. Look at it with pride as not everyone gets this wonderful gift. Do you, baby!
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